Okay so I've been talking to a few people about relationships recently and they keep on asking me questions about various aspects of relationships. My first thing piece of advice, watch How I Met Your Mother. My second piece, specifically season 4 episode 13 (Three Days of Snow). I'm not going to ruin the whole thing but at one point Marshall and Robin talk about their fundamental differences in relationships and I think they made a point that many people choose to ignore. EVERY COUPLE IS DIFFERENT!!
Now that you've watched the episode or decided to keep on reading regardless of my spoilers.
You can't compare yourself to different couples and reading those articles on 9 steps to a perfect relationship will be a definite waste of your life. Like the way you do things is not the way other people do things. So what if you don't have a little rituals like Marshall and Lily? That doesn't mean your relationship isn't as strong as theirs is! There are a lot of people who've been happily together for 10 years without telling their SO what they have everyday for lunch. That doesn't mean their missing out on life it just means that they have other ways of showing each other their affection.
Also speaking of other ways of showing affection. With the whole long distance thing there's going to be a lot of people who give you advice. Most of it is along the lines of, "Oh you should talk every day to show that you're in love. Oh if you're not talking everyday that means the feelings are probably fizzing out." Well I can assure you that both those statements are a lie. Talking is my boyfriend is the highlight of my day, but if you try to schedule a time to talk every single day it becomes more of a task than something enjoyable. But the thing is this is my view. Both of us are spontaneous people and we don't like making big complicated plans so for us setting a time that works for both of us was difficult because we don't have a set plan for our day. Plus in my opinion, true love is knowing that the person of your dreams is in your mind regardless of whether you talked that day or not. Also in this line of advice, do what you feel is comfortable. If you want to talk everyday by all means no one is stopping you. If you want to text during the week and skype on the weekends, go for it. It's your relationship, do what you both want.
(also side note that's not part of my rant: Emailing is really amazing because you can say so much more and it's more expressive of emotions than messaging)
Just remember everyone is unique in their own special way and you don't treat everyone in one generic way, so then why do we have this mindset that what works for one relationship is going to work for the next? I think people get so caught up in trying to make their relationship perfect that they forget to enjoy what they have right there. There are so many people who look compare themselves to other couples, but what good is that doing you? So what if they like to cuddle and talk about life? You probably play competitive laser tag and they're jealous of you for that.
Now that you've watched the episode or decided to keep on reading regardless of my spoilers.
Also speaking of other ways of showing affection. With the whole long distance thing there's going to be a lot of people who give you advice. Most of it is along the lines of, "Oh you should talk every day to show that you're in love. Oh if you're not talking everyday that means the feelings are probably fizzing out." Well I can assure you that both those statements are a lie. Talking is my boyfriend is the highlight of my day, but if you try to schedule a time to talk every single day it becomes more of a task than something enjoyable. But the thing is this is my view. Both of us are spontaneous people and we don't like making big complicated plans so for us setting a time that works for both of us was difficult because we don't have a set plan for our day. Plus in my opinion, true love is knowing that the person of your dreams is in your mind regardless of whether you talked that day or not. Also in this line of advice, do what you feel is comfortable. If you want to talk everyday by all means no one is stopping you. If you want to text during the week and skype on the weekends, go for it. It's your relationship, do what you both want.
(also side note that's not part of my rant: Emailing is really amazing because you can say so much more and it's more expressive of emotions than messaging)
Just remember everyone is unique in their own special way and you don't treat everyone in one generic way, so then why do we have this mindset that what works for one relationship is going to work for the next? I think people get so caught up in trying to make their relationship perfect that they forget to enjoy what they have right there. There are so many people who look compare themselves to other couples, but what good is that doing you? So what if they like to cuddle and talk about life? You probably play competitive laser tag and they're jealous of you for that.
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